My girlfriend the airhead (updates)

My Girlfriend the Airhead

One day, I told my girlfriend that while I was in the Air Force, I broke the sound barrier.

She said, “Oh, no!  Did you get into trouble over it?”

One day, I asked my girlfriend to change the burned-out bulb in my lamp.

So she took out the old bulb and put in another burned-out bulb.

One day, I told my girlfriend that both of my parents came from England.

She said, “Really?  Do you speak the language?”

One day, I told my girlfriend that my brother is a veterinarian.

She said, “What branch of the Service was he in?”

One day, my car was on the fritz so I asked my girlfriend to run down to the store and get me a six-pack.  It usually takes me about forty-five minutes to drive to and back from the store.  But it was almost an hour-and-a-half before she returned with the six-pack.  And she was sweating and out of breath.

One day, I told my girlfriend I broke my arm in three places.

She said, “Well, you should stay away from those places.”

One day, I told my girlfriend that I was starting a garden and was going into town to get a hoe.

She said, “I didn't know they did that kind of work.”

One day, I told my girlfriend that my cousin went to a dentist because he was having trouble masticating.

She said, “I didn't know dentists handled sex-related problems.”

One day my girlfriend and I were staring at the nighttime sky and I said, "There's a trillion stars up there."

She said, "I counted only twenty-two thousand five hundred and sixty-two."

One day I told my girlfriend that my cousin is a taxidermist

She said, “Doesn’t he work on anything but taxies?”

One day I told my girlfriend that my grandmother had been married three times.

She said, “My goodness!  Did she ever have any children?”

One day I told my girlfriend that I knew a minister who would marry us.
She said, "Both of us?"

One day I told my girlfriend that I used to belong to a musical group called the South Valley Barber Shop Quartet.
She said, "Wow!  How many singers were in your group?"

One day I told my girlfriend that my Aunt Grace is a sexagenarian.

She said, “At her age?”

One day I asked my girlfriend how her new job as an aircraft navigator was coming along.

She said, “I had to quit.  When I drove to work the first day, I couldn’t find the airport.”

One day I told my girlfriend that I am a pessimist.

She said, “I’m a Protestant.”

One day, being a lover of classical music, I asked my girlfriend if she liked Puccini.

She said, “I don’t know.  I never tried it.  But I do like linguini.”

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