Sunday, May 8, 2016

Bobby No-Nose

Bobby No-Nose

Once upon a time there was a twelve-year-old boy named Bobby.  Now, Bobby wasn’t really a bad boy, he just had a propensity for getting into trouble.  Although it must be said that he had never committed any serious offenses.  And he was blessed with a knack for talking his way out of his predicaments. 
But his luck ran out one day while he was in his back yard playing with his new slingshot.  He had set up a row of empty food cans on a plank resting on two cinder blocks and was doing a good job of knocking the cans over, one by one.  He was getting rather good and was proud of himself.
However, his success led to carelessness, and he shot off a stone without taking careful aim.  And, much to his alarm, the stone went over the fence and shattered a window of the house next door.  Afraid that he would get into serious trouble, he quickly took the cinder blocks, plank and cans and hid them in his garage.  Then he went into the house and began working on his homework as if nothing had happened.
Everything was fine until his neighbor came home from work and saw the broken window.  Suspecting who the culprit might be, he went next door to confront Bobby.
It just so happened that Bobby was in the back yard taking out the trash for his mother.  When he saw the neighbor coming, he thought about hiding in the garage.  But the man had already seen him so he had no choice but to wait and see what would happen.
The man walked up him and said, “Bobby.  Did you break my window?”
Bobby didn’t want to admit to it so, with a straight face, he said, “No, Sir.  I did not break your window.”
Just as he said that, a big bird swooped out of the sky and bit his nose off.
Bobby was shocked by the sudden loss of his nose, but he quickly recovered and chased after the bird, determined to get it back.
The bird was so startled by being chased that it dropped the nose, which fell onto the grass next to a tall tree.
Bobby ran toward his nose, happy that he was about to get it back.  But just as he got within twenty feet of his nose, a squirrel came out of the tree and grabbed it in its mouth, thinking it was an acorn.  Then it sped back up the tree and out of sight.
Although distraught by the loss of his nose, Bobby had no choice but to learn to live with it.  The worst problem he faced was when he tried to talk.  Without a nose, he could only say, “Whoosh.  Whoosh.  Whoosh.”  And the kids in school began to tease him because when asked a question by the teacher, all he could say was “Whoosh.  Whoosh.  Whoosh.”  It was a very depressing situation. 
But luck was on Bobby’s side.
One day a doctor came to his house and offered to make a new nose for him.  The doctor called it a prosthetic nose, which he claimed would be just like a real one.
Bobby was overjoyed and agreed to let the doctor make a prosthetic nose for him.  Actually, all he could do was nod because when he tried to talk, all he could say was, “Whoosh.  Whoosh.  Whoosh.”
When the day finally came that he got his new nose, he was delighted to see that it looked just like his old one.  And, now, instead of saying “Whoosh.  Whoosh.  Whoosh,” he could speak normally, again.
In fact, now that he had a nose, again, he began making a lot of new friends at school.  And a pretty girl in his class, named Betsy, began flirting with him.  Life was looking up for the lad.
But, unfortunately, it wasn’t to last.
Intent on asking the girl to go on a date with him, he went to her house one afternoon, bearing a box of candy.  When she answered the door, he handed her the candy and said, “Hi, Betsy.  Would you like to go the movie Saturday?”
Accepting the candy, Betsy smiled and said, “Hi, Bobby.  Thanks for the candy.  Yes, I certainly would like to….”
Just then, Bobby sneezed…and his prosthetic nose shot out and hit Betsy right between her eyes.
She screamed, dropped the box of candy and ran back into her house.
Shocked and disappointed that he had not only ruined his chances of dating Betsy but had also hurt her, he picked up his nose and headed back to his house.  The more he thought about it, the more it became apparent that his prosthetic nose was too dangerous to wear, especially when talking to people.  So he tossed it into the bushes. 
From that day on, whenever Bobby tried to talk, all he could say was, “Whoosh.  Whoosh.  Whoosh.”
So let that be a lesson to you.  If you ever decide to lie, make sure you look up to the sky to make sure the Lyre Bird isn’t waiting to lop your nose off.

Copyright © 2016 Lawrence Entertainment Group

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